How to Make Sure Your Presentation Sucks – Part 1

Written by on May 24, 2019

For Those Who Never Want to Speak in Public Again

You hate to speak in public! You would prefer to eat a tree bark sandwich, than stand in front of a group of strangers… or worse yet, a group of co-workers and colleagues, and give a presentation. Yes, you know how your process works. You know your numbers left and right. But it’s one thing for you to share this information one on one, or over the phone. But to stand in front of a group of people and share it? No way!

What—is this grade school all over again?

If the foregoing scenario seems all too familiar, this article is for you. Yes, I know, most speaking trainers want to show you how to deliver a flawless talk.

I, on the other hand, prefer to show you how to make sure that your presentation sucks! This way you’ll never again be asked to give a sales presentation, to give a television interview, or to give a toast at your best friend’s wedding.

At the very least, knowing what mistakes are available to you will allow you to choose your mistakes, and then you can say that you failed on purpose! Or, you can choose not to make these mistakes and watch your career skyrocket. The choice is absolutely yours!

Alright, here are some of my favorite tips, to make sure you never get invited to speak again:


If you are like most people, this is the first thing you are going to do anyway. It’s as natural as going to the bathroom! Simply stop breathing, overthink everything, and visualize the audience laughing at you just like they did in 5th grade. Don’t be like that teacher’s pet, who always stayed calm by breathing deep, and remained in perfect control. Don’t listen to the voice in your head, that tells you that you are the most qualified to give the talk. Forget the fact you have been speaking since you were two years old, and you were born to do this. Avoid listening to your favorite music (especially Rocky Balboa’s theme—“Eye of the Tiger,” which seems to work for most people all of the time). Avoid engaging in any light exercise before you talk. Your job is to lose your mind when you get to the podium, and if you can lose it before you get to the podium… all the better!

Don’t even think of preparing.

Not preparing for your talk is a foolproof way to make sure your presentation sucks. Be like the people who have the confidence of a Rhinoceros, and believe that preparation is not necessary, because you can wing it. I mean come on Maverick… you live the subject matter. You are an expert on the topic. Know that your audience will know if you are prepared, and this will only cause them to pay attention to you. If you are prepared, you are more likely to get a second meeting or make the sale, or worse yet… get invited back to speak. Knowing your audience, knowing your topic, and knowing yourself is the worst thing that you can do if your objective is never to get asked to speak again.

Over prepare.

If you don’t want it to be so obvious that you did not prepare, another way to guarantee that your presentation will suck is by over-preparing. If your talk is scheduled to last 20 minutes, start your preparation at least 30 days in advance. Each day before your presentation, spend at least three hours per day researching your topic, and keep doing more and more research, until you have at least 100 power point slides filled from top to bottom with the latest facts and figures from your research. You can never have too much information on your subject. Just think, with so many slides, you will have so much to read that there will be no time left for your audience to ask you any questions.

Avoid being yourself.

This is one of my favorite ways to make sure your presentation sucks. Many people think that the way to deliver a good presentation is to become someone else—you know—act like a famous politician, actor, singer, athlete, or public figure. So what if your job is not as a comedic impressionist, just pretend it is, and your talk will result in an absolute failure… guaranteed! No one wants to know the real you, the honest you, the confident you. No! They want to be entertained, just like on late night television. So forget about impacting your audience, or persuading them with your authenticity. You do not want them to hire you, buy from you, or give you funding for your charity project. But that is certainly what will happen, if you choose to be yourself.

In Part 2 of this article, I will give you even more ways to guarantee that your presentation sucks.

#LiveRemarkably #RuleBreaker #FunMaker #SpeaktoWin

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